Christmas

I never thought we would have a love hate relationship with Christmas. This time of the year has always been our favorite. We typically have (a ton of) Christmas decorations up the first weekend in November. We then leave up the decorations til mid January. We love remembering the gift that God gave to us in Bethlehem. We love remembering that He has a divine plan. 

This year is the first year all of our kids are not spending time together. We are absolutely torn in two trying to decide where we need to be. Should we be with Zachary as he occasionally stirs in his incubator? Should we spend time with our older boys as they destroy wrapping paper trying to get to the gift inside?  Where are we needed most?  

The older boys will not let us out of their sight partly because we have snuck out soo many times recently to be with Zachary. They have been moody and acting out instead of their normal giggling playful selves. At times we have been emotionally drained trying to split our time between home and PCH. 

So this Christmas we will try to make it work. We want to spend time with both Zachary and the older boys but we have to choose. That kinda sucks. 

Thank you for praying for us. If we didn't have the peace that only God can provide, this experience would be awful. God is in control and we rest in His arms knowing He can be both with our older boys and Zachary.