Week 7 - Tick Tock, Tick Tock

Since the day we found out about Zachary, things have changed.  Becky and I have spent hundreds of hours pouring over medical information trying to get a rudimentary understanding of our son's diagnoses; we have been even more intentional about spending time together as a couple and most importantly praying.  Zachary changed us even before we held him.  Little did I realize his impact until this Sunday.

Quick Recap:Since Zachary's trachea is so small, we were given advice to avoid taking our older boys to church so that they do not get sick.  If Micah and Josiah get sick, we probably would get sick and we might give it to Zachary, Zachary would have very little chance of surviving it.  So, since Becky went the last couple of weeks, it was my time to worship with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
In the main service, we sang The Wondrous Cross.  I almost had to step out, I was in tears because the song came alive.  Youtube link   -  Lyrics

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless
Your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

I cannot fathom the love that God the Father had for the whole world that He would intentionally send His Son into harm's way.  God sent His Son into the world that despised and rejected Him.  I cannot imagine how difficult that would be for a dad to send his son to his death as a sacrifice for people that hate him.  Would I have intentionally chosen the path that we are on with Zachary? NEVER!  But God is using little Zachary to show the world that even when life sucks, Jesus Christ is the answer.

What do I mean by that? Let me explain.

• We live in a fallen world.  No one is perfect.  We generally try to do what is good and right, but we mess up in the end. No matter how hard we try, we will never be perfect.  
• Since we are not perfect, by God's perfect law, we are condemned to eternal death.  We cannot work our way out of this punishment.  There is no probation period that we could complete that will ever make us right before God. 
• But, there is hope! We can be saved from ourselves; from our sin; from our failures.  We have the chance to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ.  He died and rose again for our sins so that we could be in a relationship with him.  Without Christ dying on the cross, we would be hopeless.  We just need to accept this free gift and follow Christ.  
• I have done this.  My wife has done this.  Many of my friends and family have done this. 
• Knowing that Christ is carrying us through this tough time that is beyond comprehension. There is such ....... peace.
• Life is futile without hope.  

Ok so now here is the part that you all have been waiting for: The update on Zachary...

• Our Goal (yes, I know I capitalized the 'G'.  It is that important!!) for Zachary is to gain weight. The doctors want Zachary to grow as much as possible so that he is as big as possible for his upcoming surgeries.  
• He has not been gaining weight like he needs to be at this point.  He gains 5 grams and then loses 20 grams, gains 30 grams and then gains another 5. 
• Two examples to put this into perspective: Link.
• A penny is 2.5 grams.
• There are 28 grams in an oz. 
• The medical team is increasing his calories per mL in his food to help with the growth. 
• Doctors have had to increase his heart medication several times to combat the degenerating heart. [Expected]
• NICU is in lockdown due to flu season. No visitors except parents until flu season is over (they are expecting it to be done in March)
• Becky and I have been able to hold him a lot. :-) He is starting to have a normal day/night routine where he is awake more during the day and sleep more at night. 
• Waiting to have a meeting with the key doctors that are involved in his care. This will help explain to us what the doctors are planning to do first.  

Here are pictures of the stud:

As always, we welcome your questions and comments. 

Thank you for reading my ramblings.